Episode 12: Every Day's a School Day

Well, then. That's us at the half-way mark. 11 days down, 11 to go. With all the miles we've covered (well over 2000 miles just by car, no idea how far we've walked) it's been a bit of a blur.

So I suppose I could use this as a time for reflection: the midpoint has a symmetry to it and we're only here in Dortmund to kill time, really.

It wouldn't be correct to say that this journey was about finding myself, I hate stupid clichés like that: I always know where I am. I may occasionally lose track of where everything else is but I am my own fixed point of reference. On the other hand, that doesn't mean that I haven't learned some stuff.

The most important thing I've learned, I think, is that there's a good reason my brother and I don't usually spend a lot of time together. We like each other fine, we just don't get along well. We're too similar in some ways and too different in others. You would hope that that would balance out and we'd be just about fine but somehow it doesn't. I suppose it's not a normal situation with the stress of the travelling and the fact that on the whole continent the only people we've really got to talk to are each other, but we both function better when we don't have to be around each other 24/7.

Frankly, we both function better when we don't have to be around people in general 24/7, so it's no great shock that the lack of time alone for either of us is starting to tell.

Also, I've learned that driving around Hamburg is a nightmare and Google maps will not help you when you need it most.

I've learned that the jug on the breakfast table that you think has milk in it should not be poured into your tea without checking because there is a chance that it may be cream. I've learned that you can get frankfurters for breakfast in Berlin but you can't seem to get frankfurters for any meal in Frankfurt and hamburgers may be readily available in Hamburg but the authenticity is no guarantee of quality.

Sadly, I've not learned much, if any, German or French, though I have learned one phrase of Dutch. It is of no use because it came from the trailer for the new Planet of the Apes film and I will have no cause to ever tell anyone "apen samen strenk" but I know it now. I believe it's probably burned indelibly on my memory by the sheer absurdity of its being the one phrase I have learned on this trip, but never mind.

Apologies for my absence from the airwaves yesterday, the hotel in Hamburg was like something from the 1950s in every way, down to the décor, the lack of en-suite bathrooms and most crucially for this blog, no Wi-Fi.

We're back to the Netherlands for the next two days, taking in the West coast cities of Rotterdam, Den Haag and Amsterdam before returning East, heading for Denmark.